Look who was on Anthony Bourdain!
Michael Malice title
Good things happen to bad people.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
The Garden
Impotence plant breaking dormancy in June
Today. I have never had it more leafed out! It creates subterranean branches where the leaves break the surface--which is why the main branch from the caudex is photophobic.
Mumm-Ra's dick, June
Now
Not only does it still look phallic, but the stem is like a living cum shot.
Pineapple spurge, March
Now. I had given it up for dead after a nasty whitefly attack that left the leaves yellowed and falling off. Now it's sending out a new flush of leaves, complete with flowers.
This shows that she's a girl! What a pretty lady.
Impotence plant breaking dormancy in June
Today. I have never had it more leafed out! It creates subterranean branches where the leaves break the surface--which is why the main branch from the caudex is photophobic.
Mumm-Ra's dick, June
Now
Not only does it still look phallic, but the stem is like a living cum shot.
Pineapple spurge, March
Now. I had given it up for dead after a nasty whitefly attack that left the leaves yellowed and falling off. Now it's sending out a new flush of leaves, complete with flowers.
This shows that she's a girl! What a pretty lady.
Monday, August 27, 2007
I went to the diner. The help was probably in her late forties and probably a former junkie. Yes I am serious.
I order my drink: a creamsicle. Vanilla shake with OJ. "Oh-kay!" the help says in an exaggerated voice. Not "OK..." as in "how weird". "Oh-kay" as in...well, I have no idea. My ally and I look at each other.
"You're supposed to laugh," the help says. "I'm kind of the comedian back here." We look at her as if we are immigrants. She returns with my drink. "I'm Yvonne," she lets us know. She strecthes out her hand to both me and my ally to shake.
Reader, I almost threw up.
| wMalice Maleficarum | |||
 Made in America: The Matt Hughes Story (Jan. 2008) The Curse of RUBBER RODEO Overheard in New York Comic Book Character Ego & Hubris: the Michael Malice Story Editor & Publisher Overheard at College Founding Editor Overheard in New York Overheard in the Office E-mail: anything @michaelmalice.com Best choices so far goaskmalice@ robotard@ ParanoidRandroid@ TownCalled@ |
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| A Three Minute Song is One Minute Too Long Even As We Speak, 2007 | ||||
| wThe Garden | ||||
| Wartsphere Adenia globosa Black Rose Plant Aeonium arboreum Lemonade Plant Aeonium decorum variegata Limeade Plant Aeonium percarneum Saucer Plant Aeonium pseudotabulaeforme cristata Good Luck Plant Anacampseros rufenscens Blizzard Cactus Astrophytum myriostigma cv. Huboki Silver Lady Fern Blechnum gibbum Tentacle Bush Bulbine lagopus Driftwood Plant Cibirhiza albersiana White Myrrh Commiphora kataf 1929 Plant Cynanchum socratanum Mumm-Ra's Dick Cyphostemma segmentatum Elephant's Foot Dioscorea mexicana Jabba the Plant Dorstenia foetida Fleshflower Duvaliandra dioscoridis Afterglow Echeveria cv. Afterglow Hen and Chicks Echeveria runyonii Paintflower Echeveria subrigida Land Orchid Eulophia petersii Pineapple Spurge Euphorbia bupleurifolia Squid Plant Euphorbia hadramautica Melon Spurge Euphorbia meloformis Crown of Thorns Euphorbia milii siegfriedii Skeleton Fingers Euphorbia platyclada Impotence Plant Euphorbia primulifolia Nerve Plant Fittonia argyoneura Gnarly Plant Fockea edulis Ghost Fingers Graptoveria cv. Perfume Plant Graptoveria cv. Debbie Morse Code Plant Haworthia coarctata Ant Plant Hydnophytum moseleyanum Penwiper Plant Kalanchoe marmorata Cancer Cactus Mammillaria bocasana v. Fred Escher Plant Mondenium sp. Tanzania aff. reflexum Rhino Tree Operculicarya pachypus Lacquer Horn Othonna pachypoda Malachite Plant Pachyphytum longifolium Moonstones Pachyphytum oviferum Cheerleader Plant Pachypodium gracilius Powder Puff Pachyveria cv. Exotica Royal Flush Pachyveria cv. Royal Flush Ruby Glow Peperomia graveolens Staghorn Fern Platycerium bifurcatum Old Man's Beard Rhipsalis capilliformis Ghoul Plant Rhytidocaulon macrolobum Cliffside Plant Sarcocaulon peniculinum Dreamcatcher Bulb Schizobasis intricata Pork and Beans Sedum rubrotinctum String of Pearls Senecio rowleyanus Carrion Flower Stapelia gigantea Dead Panda Stick Stapelianthus arenarius Ocotillo Alluaudia procera Rubber Band Plant Didieria madagascariensis Boojum Tree Idria columnaris Chandelier Plant Kalanchoe daigremontiana Madagascar Palm Pachypodium lamerei Mother of Thousands Kalanchoe tubiflora | ||||
